One of the most underrated emotional centers in the world? The workplace.
You arrive in the morning, committing your most productive hours to this space. You take a big sip of the first coffee from the kitchen. The weather is nice, and you noticed flowers blooming on the sidewalk during your walk in. Then you open your inbox. There it is—an emotional monster lurking among the unread messages, ready to consume your energy.
On your first day at work, you promised yourself to be an adult, to take care of yourself and your responsibilities. "Be professional," they said. So, you kept your emotions to yourself. You saw Linda from accounting wiping away tears in the powder room, and the next day, jokes were already circulating in the meeting rooms. You heard Brian from marketing had an outburst at his manager and received a warning from HR, even though you knew he'd been treated unfairly for months. So, you kept your emotions to yourself. And every time you did, you got a little better at it.
Five years in, you're now managing a small team. One day, your direct report calls in sick, saying she doesn't feel well. You know she's been overworking for a project over the past three weeks, and yesterday's pitch meeting didn't go well—her proposal was replaced by someone else's. You feel you should say something, but you hesitate. After all, you're her manager, not her best friend.
But the office doesn't have to be a place where only joyful emotions are accepted.
Among the six core human emotions, only one is positive (happiness); the others—sadness, anger, fear, disgust, and surprise—are either negative or neutral. Here's a list of definitions:
- Sadness: Arises from experiences of loss, disappointment, or unmet needs.
- Anger: Triggered by perceived injustice or when boundaries are crossed; it can also motivate change.
- Fear: Serves as a survival mechanism, alerting individuals to potential threats.The University of Kansas Health System
- Disgust: Helps individuals avoid potentially harmful substances or situations.
- Surprise: A neutral emotion triggered by unexpected events, helping individuals adapt.
Do any of these sound familiar? Unmet needs, potential threats, unexpected events—didn't you just experience one of these in that stakeholder meeting? Our workplace is filled with social interactions and business events; there's always something new, and they never stop. So why are we only allowed to show emotion when something good happens? Why can't we express emotion when something bad happens? Why must we suppress our emotions until 5 PM?
Workplace emotional fatigue is a significant issue. According to the American Psychological Association, nearly 3 in 5 employees reported negative impacts of work-related stress, including lack of interest, motivation, or energy. Furthermore, suppressing emotions can lead to physical and mental health problems. Research has shown that bottling up emotions can make people more aggressive and has immediate and delayed consequences for stress-induced cardiovascular reactivity. American Psychological Association Psychology Today The CALDA Clinic
Leaders, first and foremost, need to recognize that we are all human. Yes, maintaining professionalism is critical for conducting business activities and executing productivity, but that doesn't mean we need to uphold an unspoken narrative of ignoring or even shaming emotional expression in the workplace. Expressing emotions as needed, even at work, is a significant contributor to stress relief and mental well-being. Studies indicate that putting negative emotions into words can reduce the physiological effect that the emotion has, leading to better working relationships and psychological safety. Health at Work
How do you handle your emotions at the workplace?
Join me on May 2, at 18H, at Cafe Cantinova. Let's talk about it on "My emotions, and I".
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